What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I think I sprained my soul last night
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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