is your mom at the bar?
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
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