yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
