What did we do last night that was yellow?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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