She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
It's never too late to be topless.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
