The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
