I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
