So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
