I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
