ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Randomize
