There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
