I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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