as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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