worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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