Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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