my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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