you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
