Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
