Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Randomize
