Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
