Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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