Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
