Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
