Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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