he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
