So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I enjoy the company of your penis
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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