whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
