i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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