Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
