I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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