i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I wish i was in the wii world.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
