just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
