Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
