I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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