I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
