that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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