beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
