THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Dicks are not precious.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
