Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
