I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
