We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Randomize
