omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
God gave him joint rollers for hands
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
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