Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
