So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
