When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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