i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
