were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
my poor anus
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
