i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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