I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
