Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
